Contemplation
by Two Hours' Traffic
Summary: They say that your twin knows you better than you know yourself. Rosalie contemplates her wretched existence with only Jasper for company. Set during Twilight; entry for the Epic T-Rated Challenge.


Entry for the Epic T-Rated Challenge

1. No lemons. Must be rated 'T.'

2. Has to have a line or reference to a cannibal.

3. Has to have a line or reference to a fireman.

4. All canon pairings.

5. Has to be a one-shot, but is allowed to be continued once the contest is finished.

6. Must copy/paste these rules to the top of your submission. Two entries per person. Collaborations acceptable.

7. Must PM either Daddy's Little Cannibal or Bronzehairedgirl620 to alert them of your entry so we can add your story to the C2 if it fits the requirements.

The contest will run until June 6th, 11:59 MST (Mountain Standard Time.) Submissions need to be posted to FF and must follow the rules above. Have fun with it! We look forward to reading your entries. :)

-Bronze and DLC

* * *

They say that your husband is the one person on the planet who will ever truly understand you. That is a lie. If you're lucky, there will be someone in your life with whom you are yourself. No façades or pretence. Someone around whom you don't have to act a part.

I spend my life acting a part. I'm Emmett's loving wife. I'm Esme and Carlisle's difficult daughter. I'm Edward's irritating sister. I'm Alice's model and Jasper's best friend.

I'm the beautiful, vain one. The one that sits on the edge of family proceedings and pretends like she doesn't care. The one whose smile stops people in their tracks. The one who tosses her hair at the humans.

I'm the bitch.

When Edward brought that Isabella Swan over today, I had to get away from it all. I'm sure that he'll tell her that I'm jealous and difficult, and that I just need a little time. He has no clue. As if _a little time_ is going to change anything.

I didn't need a little time. I needed time to think.

I was born into a family of love and light. My parents only ever wanted the best for us – my sisters and I. The three Hale girls. We were the perfect children, beautiful and talented. It was never expected that we would do anything more than smile and look pretty. And that's all I ever wanted to do. And then that bastard, Royce, decided that I was worth more to him as a source of sick pleasure than I was as a wife.

And that was the end of my dream.

When he left me for dead, I was met by an angel came down from Heaven to guide me home. But I soon discovered that I wasn't in Heaven. I was in burning in fires that seemed to last for eternity. And when I opened my eyes again, I had arrived in purgatory. In a land which never changes, where I was doomed to spend the rest of time.

I have never blamed Carlisle for changing me.

No, that's a lie. I have blamed Carlisle for changing me every day of this wretched existence. If it weren't for my respect for him and my love for Esme, I would have been gone long before the bear got anywhere near Emmett. I would have run to Volterra and begged the Volturi to kill me before I had to suffer through another day.

I only really came to terms with being a vampire when Alice and Jasper came into our lives. Suddenly I had a sister and a "twin", and things would never be the same. Jasper's difficulty to adjust to our way of life broke my heart in ways that it had never been broken before, and I vowed that I would do what it took to help him through.

My twin and I.

They're discussing me now. I can hear them whispering in the living room. _She's been down there for hours._ _Who should go out to her? Should we leave her alone? _And then, a steady voice: _I'll go._

A moment later, another body appears next to mine and I hear Jasper breathing beside me.

"What do you want from me?" I ask. "I just really need some time to alone right now. To think, you know."

"Well, would you mind if I thought with you?"

I sigh and stare absentmindedly into the distance.

"Rose..." he whispers, "I was just thinking... if there's anything you want to talk about, I'm always here for you. You know that, right?"

"I know."

Even though he can tell that I'm really not in the mood for small talk, he persists.

"Any particular reason as to why you're so quiet today? They think it's about Bella, but I'm not so sure." He interprets my silence as affirmation. "Rose, I'm worried about you. I don't think Bella's all that's bothering you. I saw the way you looked at that baby girl with the fire brigade today, in town. All curls and smiles, with the fireman's helmet on. She was a sweetheart."

"Just drop it," I hiss. I really don't need to be having this conversation right now.

"But, no... that's not it. What's bothering you, Rosie? You can talk to me."

I contemplate telling him off for calling me that, but decide against it. It's nice to talk to him alone.

"You don't even know, do you?"

And the sad thing is that I don't. I'm just a very confused, lonely sad vampire. I spend my life depressed about things that I can't name.

"Not really."

Twilight. The silence is only pierced by the sounds of the frogs on the river and the crickets chirping their call. I throw a stone at the water, and it skips half a dozen times before burying itself in the riverbed.

Jasper looks at me and grins in that way of his - not a smile of joy, but of reassurance.

"What are you thinking about, Rosalie? No censoring. What's in your head this instant?"

"I was wondering... normal vampires – who eat humans, I mean. Are they cannibals? Or are we some kind of mutated species? Not even human any more..."

"I'm not sure. I've never thought about it."

"Neither had I. But it's interesting. And why isn't pension the noun form of pensive? Cohesion is the noun of cohesive."

"You're ridiculous."

I giggle and he smiles at me. "You'll be fine, Rose. Just give it time, and everything will work itself out. Everything'll get back to normal before you know it."

"Nothing will ever be the same again. Not with this _Isabella_. Bella this and Bella that... Why won't she just get the hell out of our lives?"

"Because he loves her." The way he says it made it sound so obvious. _Of course, you silly girl. It's love._

"Don't talk to me like that, Jasper. You know as well as I do that no sane being would ever chose to be condemned to a lifetime of skulking in the shadows."

He sighs wistfully. "I know, Rose. But that's just the way it is."

I lean against his shoulder, and our hair mingles so that you can't tell where his ends and mine begins.

Then he kisses the top of my head and stands up. "Whenever you're ready to come inside, Edward was talking about putting a movie on. He got a couple of new ones the other day."

"Give me a second. And Jazz - thanks for... being here, I guess. And thanks for teaching me about myself."

He shrugs. "Twins, remember?"

- end -

* * *

A/N: I realise that Jasper and Rosalie aren't actually twins, that it was their cover story. But the younger Cullens all think of each other as siblings, and I get the feeling that Rosalie and Jasper would consider themselves closer than siblings. So why not twins?

R.I.P. Daddy's Little Cannibal. I read your work in awe, and am still in shock that your life was cut short, far too soon.


End file.
